Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Haven't had much to say lately....
My husband and I spent last weekend in Cancun, so I really haven't had time for this much. The week prior was spent getting ready for the trip and this week has been all about catching up on rest! I did start a post before leaving, but I haven't gotten to finish it yet. It ought to be a good one, though.
I will say this - how am I supposed to write down my thoughts with my husband standing over me? He's been home for 2 days now, so there's been no way to write. It really doesn't matter anyway, because no one ever reads it but me. Oh well.
I will say this - how am I supposed to write down my thoughts with my husband standing over me? He's been home for 2 days now, so there's been no way to write. It really doesn't matter anyway, because no one ever reads it but me. Oh well.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Ex-wives suck
Yeah, I said it. And dammit, I mean it. Yeah, so I AM an ex-wife... twice. But nothing compares to the nut job I'm having to deal with these days. This woman gives new meaning to the word C-R-A-Z-Y!!! Her entire existence revolves around making my life complete hell.
Now, you gotta remember, I'm raising her two daughters. One of them, the 15 year old, never even speaks to her unless she needs money that I won't give her. Doesn't say much for the mothering skills does it? Shaunne (the 15 year old) also insists that her mother threw her down the stairs, grabbed her by the hair, threw her on the floor, and waved a knife in her face. As crazy as I'VE seen her act, I wouldn't doubt it! Supposedly, this happened when Shaunne was 12. Not surprizingly, Morgan (the 9 year old), doesn't remember it.
Now, Morgan, does go see her mother every other weekend, and although Kathy (the ex) thinks this bothers me, it's really quite the opposite. Morgan is one of those kids who just suck out your very life force.... she requires THAT MUCH attention. So every other weekend, I get the weekend (from Friday afternoon to Monday afternoon) off! WOO HOO! But, there are so many things about Morgan visiting her mom that I just HATE:
#1 Morgan is a freakin 9 year old. 9 year old girls simply do not need acrylic nails put on every other weekend to just have them taken off 3 days later.
#2 9 year old girls do not need highlights put in their hair. They have natural highlights.
#3 9 year old girls do not need to dress like they are going to the honkey tonk on Friday night. In other words, don't dress your daughter like a hootchy mama.
#4 9 year old girls should wear shoes with backs, preferrably tennis shoes... they have trouble walking... especially when they are wearing high-heeled flip flops.
#5 9 year old girls really should not know the details of their mother's sex life. This is way too much information, and it's information that they tend to share with their friends (which causes stepmoms to get lots of calls from lots of upset mothers).
#6 9 year old girls really don't have much interest in their mom's day to day drama, either.
#7 9 year old girls really hate being the "messenger" between mom & dad.
#8 9 year old girls don't like to be interrogated every other weekend, either.
#9 9 year old girls do not need to eat TWO #10's at McDonalds (which at our McD's is a 10 piece Mcnugget order with large fries and a large drink).
#10 9 year old girls do not need a bag of 500 balloons (which is brought to their father's home - the home where a 10 month old baby lives - a 10 month old who puts everything in her mouth!)
I'm sure that I could come up with tons more reasons, but I'll stop with 10. I guess my point is this; even though you are a weekend parent, you are still a parent. Kathy and I have had many conversations about this and she always tells me, "well, I just can't tell her no." I've told her - you're not doing the kid any favors by always letting her have her way - not to mention that it makes my job twice as hard when she's with me. I've got 5 kids here - Morgan's NOT going to get her way all the time.
I am a mom. I'm not their friend. It is my job to make sure they get taught to make rational decisions (a job my mother didn't follow through with very well, hence my 3 marriages, near bankruptcy, and other things in my life that I'll fail to mention here). It is my job to make sure they are taught right from wrong. It is NOT my job to make sure that their every whim is carried out.
Now, you gotta remember, I'm raising her two daughters. One of them, the 15 year old, never even speaks to her unless she needs money that I won't give her. Doesn't say much for the mothering skills does it? Shaunne (the 15 year old) also insists that her mother threw her down the stairs, grabbed her by the hair, threw her on the floor, and waved a knife in her face. As crazy as I'VE seen her act, I wouldn't doubt it! Supposedly, this happened when Shaunne was 12. Not surprizingly, Morgan (the 9 year old), doesn't remember it.
Now, Morgan, does go see her mother every other weekend, and although Kathy (the ex) thinks this bothers me, it's really quite the opposite. Morgan is one of those kids who just suck out your very life force.... she requires THAT MUCH attention. So every other weekend, I get the weekend (from Friday afternoon to Monday afternoon) off! WOO HOO! But, there are so many things about Morgan visiting her mom that I just HATE:
#1 Morgan is a freakin 9 year old. 9 year old girls simply do not need acrylic nails put on every other weekend to just have them taken off 3 days later.
#2 9 year old girls do not need highlights put in their hair. They have natural highlights.
#3 9 year old girls do not need to dress like they are going to the honkey tonk on Friday night. In other words, don't dress your daughter like a hootchy mama.
#4 9 year old girls should wear shoes with backs, preferrably tennis shoes... they have trouble walking... especially when they are wearing high-heeled flip flops.
#5 9 year old girls really should not know the details of their mother's sex life. This is way too much information, and it's information that they tend to share with their friends (which causes stepmoms to get lots of calls from lots of upset mothers).
#6 9 year old girls really don't have much interest in their mom's day to day drama, either.
#7 9 year old girls really hate being the "messenger" between mom & dad.
#8 9 year old girls don't like to be interrogated every other weekend, either.
#9 9 year old girls do not need to eat TWO #10's at McDonalds (which at our McD's is a 10 piece Mcnugget order with large fries and a large drink).
#10 9 year old girls do not need a bag of 500 balloons (which is brought to their father's home - the home where a 10 month old baby lives - a 10 month old who puts everything in her mouth!)
I'm sure that I could come up with tons more reasons, but I'll stop with 10. I guess my point is this; even though you are a weekend parent, you are still a parent. Kathy and I have had many conversations about this and she always tells me, "well, I just can't tell her no." I've told her - you're not doing the kid any favors by always letting her have her way - not to mention that it makes my job twice as hard when she's with me. I've got 5 kids here - Morgan's NOT going to get her way all the time.
I am a mom. I'm not their friend. It is my job to make sure they get taught to make rational decisions (a job my mother didn't follow through with very well, hence my 3 marriages, near bankruptcy, and other things in my life that I'll fail to mention here). It is my job to make sure they are taught right from wrong. It is NOT my job to make sure that their every whim is carried out.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
THESE KIDS ARE DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!!
What is it about the last few days of summer that makes the kids go insane? Is it the heat? Is it the fact that school is beginning soon, and they are nervous? Is it that they know they are getting ready to lose some freedom? Or is it something in the atmosphere that just makes them go temporarily bonkers for a week?
My kids have spent the last week of their summer fighting... and I mean really fighting with each other. They have yelled, they have hit, they have called each other "idiot." Maybe it's just too much together time. One thing's for sure... Mom's had enough!
This weekend, I should be running around, getting things ready for school, but I'm not. I'm done with that. Supplies are bought & ready, backpacks are packed, alarm clock is set. Friday afternoon, I am setting out on the road... the road to Philadelphia, Mississippi. There is a casino there. A casino with a nice pool (one with no kids in it) and a spa. I will be making one pit stop on the way though, in Birmingham... to drop these hellions off with Grandma & Grandpa! I will then spend my last weekend of summer, not refereeing fights, but R-E-L-A-X-I-N-G.... I will hit the spa for a manicure, pedicure and massage, I will sit by the pool and read a book, I will lay in bed and watch movies on pay-per-view... with no interruptions!
Am I a bad mom because I'd like to relax on this last weekend of summer? Nah, no way. Relaxing this weekend and being AWAY from my kids every now & then is what makes me a better mom... and them better kids. More moms should do this. I used to be that "never-leave-your-kids-and-do-everything-for-them" kind of mom, but no more. If Todd has shown me one thing, it's that the kids really do have to come after the relationship between husband and wife. This is my 3rd marriage, and the other one (2nd one) just didn't work out because I was too wrapped up in my kids. I never gave my husband a second thought. Love your kids, but don't be "in love" with your kids. Stay "in love" with your spouse. I can't honestly say who I would choose if it came down to choosing between husband & kids... that's not a choice I hope I ever have to make, and right this moment, I can't say who I'd choose... Who knows what I would do. My brain simply can't wrap around it.
Which reminds me of a story; A couple of weeks ago, I got drunk with my father-in-law. His drunk, rambling mind wanted to know, "if all 5 of your kids were in the ocean, drowning, and you only had enough life preservers for 4 of them, who would you choose to die?" Well, my "mama mind" kept coming up with different scenarios like, "well, I'd put the youngest one with the oldest one, and save them all" or "I'd give one of them my life preserver, and I would drown, saving them all" or "the weakest swimmers would get them, and the strongest swimmers could 'hold on' when they needed to, but they all swim pretty well anyway."Those simply were not options in his drunken mind.... I had to choose. I couldn't do it. The drunker we got, the more he pressed, but I just couldn't fathom it... Finally, after hours of pressing, I told him that if I absolutely had to choose, no other scenarios would do, and I absolutely HAD to choose, I would choose Morgan, because #1, she's not biologically mine, and #2, I am the least close to her - we really don't have that great of a relationship. He seemed pleased with that answer... his point being that no matter what the circumstances, a mother will always choose. But, his research was flawed, because like I said, she's not biologically my child.... Anyway, enough rambling for this morning... I've got to go referee another fight....
My kids have spent the last week of their summer fighting... and I mean really fighting with each other. They have yelled, they have hit, they have called each other "idiot." Maybe it's just too much together time. One thing's for sure... Mom's had enough!
This weekend, I should be running around, getting things ready for school, but I'm not. I'm done with that. Supplies are bought & ready, backpacks are packed, alarm clock is set. Friday afternoon, I am setting out on the road... the road to Philadelphia, Mississippi. There is a casino there. A casino with a nice pool (one with no kids in it) and a spa. I will be making one pit stop on the way though, in Birmingham... to drop these hellions off with Grandma & Grandpa! I will then spend my last weekend of summer, not refereeing fights, but R-E-L-A-X-I-N-G.... I will hit the spa for a manicure, pedicure and massage, I will sit by the pool and read a book, I will lay in bed and watch movies on pay-per-view... with no interruptions!
Am I a bad mom because I'd like to relax on this last weekend of summer? Nah, no way. Relaxing this weekend and being AWAY from my kids every now & then is what makes me a better mom... and them better kids. More moms should do this. I used to be that "never-leave-your-kids-and-do-everything-for-them" kind of mom, but no more. If Todd has shown me one thing, it's that the kids really do have to come after the relationship between husband and wife. This is my 3rd marriage, and the other one (2nd one) just didn't work out because I was too wrapped up in my kids. I never gave my husband a second thought. Love your kids, but don't be "in love" with your kids. Stay "in love" with your spouse. I can't honestly say who I would choose if it came down to choosing between husband & kids... that's not a choice I hope I ever have to make, and right this moment, I can't say who I'd choose... Who knows what I would do. My brain simply can't wrap around it.
Which reminds me of a story; A couple of weeks ago, I got drunk with my father-in-law. His drunk, rambling mind wanted to know, "if all 5 of your kids were in the ocean, drowning, and you only had enough life preservers for 4 of them, who would you choose to die?" Well, my "mama mind" kept coming up with different scenarios like, "well, I'd put the youngest one with the oldest one, and save them all" or "I'd give one of them my life preserver, and I would drown, saving them all" or "the weakest swimmers would get them, and the strongest swimmers could 'hold on' when they needed to, but they all swim pretty well anyway."Those simply were not options in his drunken mind.... I had to choose. I couldn't do it. The drunker we got, the more he pressed, but I just couldn't fathom it... Finally, after hours of pressing, I told him that if I absolutely had to choose, no other scenarios would do, and I absolutely HAD to choose, I would choose Morgan, because #1, she's not biologically mine, and #2, I am the least close to her - we really don't have that great of a relationship. He seemed pleased with that answer... his point being that no matter what the circumstances, a mother will always choose. But, his research was flawed, because like I said, she's not biologically my child.... Anyway, enough rambling for this morning... I've got to go referee another fight....
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Only 5 more days....
Only 5 more days of summer...
Only 5 more days of summer.... Only 5 more days of summer! 
YES! Next Monday, they will be back in school! Of course, that is going to bring on a whole new bunch of crap to deal with. With school, starts soccer twice a week, band 3 times a week, dance class 3 times a week, and boy scouts... I hate to keep wishing away my kids' childhoods, but man, will I ever be glad when they can fend for themselves a bit more! I am longing for the time to enjoy my husband....
Which bring me to... CANCUN! 16 more days, and we will be basking in the Cancun sun! Mom & Dad are keeping the kids, and I get a 4 day break! Don't get me wrong, I love my kids dearly, but every mom could use a break now & then.
So, I'm off... to finish the school shopping and packing of backpacks.... and to attend the first PTO meeting of the school year.... and so it all begins.....
