Monday, October 03, 2005
What the hell was I thinking?
OK, so apparently I was smoking crack the day that I told my 9-year-old son that he could have a "camp-out" party for his birthday (with a tent, spend the night guests and everything!). Mixing 9 year old boys with a bonfire, army attire, and woods in the backyard is never a good idea.
The day started harmlessly enough. We limited the number of boys he could invite, so there was only Cameron & Harrison ( the boys who live next door), Hudson & Jack (from Jake's class), and Jake & Mark (my boys). Evan, another boy who lives down the street was invited too, but he was grounded (for calling someone an "ass" on the playground at school - that seems to be going around these days). I really thought that I could keep control of 6 boys - 2 of them being mine.
The boys showed up at 4pm, I painted their faces with camouflage, gave them their dog tags & helmets, and sent them outside. At about 4:30, we played a few games and had a scavenger hunt. After that, I let them just "play." We have a tree house in the woods, and they set that up as their headquarters. All was going fine until 2 of them decided that they couldn't open my gate, and kicked it down. I must add that this is the same gate that my husband just put back up after it fell off the hinges. Needless to say, I wasn't really happy with this group of boys at this point. By 6:30, they were "starving," so we started the fire.
Now, we DO have one of those outside fireplace things, so we set the fire in that (I didn't just set a fire in my backyard - give me some credit). I got the hot dogs and skewers and let them roast their dinner. Jack, a vegetarian, had to roast his "mushroom burger" by cutting it in half and putting each half on the skewer. The rest of them roasted their hotdogs. Dinner went off without a hitch.
We had cake, and did s'mores, which also went fine.
At 9:30 pm, my husband sent them to the tent with their sleeping bags and told them that it was time for some "shut-eye." He was planning to leave me with this bunch and go fishing with his buddy all night. Nice, huh? But I guess the sleep over WAS my idea.
By 10:30, they were all inside asking me to restart the fire because they were cold. Now, me being the mom that I am, really didn't want them to sleep outside. We have a pool in the back yard, and I was a nervous wreck (especially after spending a few hours with this crew) that one of them would get out of the tent in the middle of the night and fall in the pool. So, when they came in, I asked them to get their sleeping bags, come in, and we would watch a movie.
I had prepared myself beforehand that I would probably be up to at least 12:30 or 1:00. Maybe even 1:30.
During the first movie, Hudson, who had been chewing on his glow stick, managed to bust it wide open and spill glow shit all over my carpet. That stuff does not wipe up... it simply disappears after a while. I told him he was done with glow sticks and that I didn't want to see him with another one - something that apparently went unheard by his 9 year old ears.
After the first movie, I had lost Jake and Harrison... they had dozed off, so we started a second movie (thank goodness for charter on demand!) After that movie, Mark had dozed off, which left me with Cameron, Hudson & Jack still awake. It was 1:30 in the morning, and I was exhausted, so I flipped over to cartoons, and told them to please watch tv quietly, that I was going to bed.
At 2:00, I could hear Jacob yelling, "Stop it! Leave me alone!" So, I hauled my exhausted butt out of bed and came out to the living room and told the awake boys to leave the asleep boys alone. Back to bed.
At 2:45, more commotion. I get up for a second time. I tell the boys to please be quiet... that Jake's older sister was upstairs trying to sleep, and his baby sister was downstairs trying to sleep. They laid back down and settled back in. Back to bed.
At 3:15, more commotion. Again, out of bed. I explain that I am really getting tired of getting up, and that I "WILL NOT" get up again....
At 4:30, a lot of commotion. I get up again, this time furious... my furiousness increases ten-fold when I get to the living room and see that Hudson has busted 2 more glow sticks and my carpet looks like an alien was murdered in my living room and it's glowing blood is splattered everywhere!!!! I flip on the light and lose it! Normally I would not yell at children who do not live in my house, but at 4:30 in the morning with my living room glowing, I lost all reason... I yelled at them that this was it! I turned off the tv and dared them to get up again! I told them that if I had to get up again, I was calling their parents to come pick them up. Hudson (the little darling) then pointed out that it was 4:30 in the morning and his mom wouldn't appreciate me waking her up in the middle of the night. I bit my tongue (almost in half) glared at him and said (through clenched teeth), "go. to. sleep." Again, back to bed.
At 5:00, I heard a noise, but was just way too exhausted to get up and check it out.
At 7:00, the boys who had actually gone to sleep (and Jack, who I think did not sleep at all), were up. I got up and found a mess on my kitchen table. I asked Jake who had gotten into the graham crackers that morning. He had no idea. Jack says, "oh, Hudson got hungry, so he got something to eat." I then realized that the noise that I heard was Hudson getting into my pantry and the 'click' was him pulling on the baby lock. I start breakfast.
At 7:15, the masochist came out in me. I got everyone to gather up their things and woke Cameron and Hudson up. Not very nicely I might add. The little shits. If I didn't get to sleep, neither were they.
By 9:30 Hudson's mom was there - to take him to church! I wanted to ask her why? Were they going to perform and exorcism? But, I refrained. By 10:00, they were all gone (I had sent the neighbors home), and Jake & I sat down to have a very long talk about how he needed to be a little more careful when choosing his friends. I also let him know that Hudson would not, under any circumstances, be welcome back at our house.
Anyone who tells you that boys are easier than girls is crazy. Morgan had a sleepover in April with 15 girls... they weren't half the trouble these 6 boys were.
The day started harmlessly enough. We limited the number of boys he could invite, so there was only Cameron & Harrison ( the boys who live next door), Hudson & Jack (from Jake's class), and Jake & Mark (my boys). Evan, another boy who lives down the street was invited too, but he was grounded (for calling someone an "ass" on the playground at school - that seems to be going around these days). I really thought that I could keep control of 6 boys - 2 of them being mine.
The boys showed up at 4pm, I painted their faces with camouflage, gave them their dog tags & helmets, and sent them outside. At about 4:30, we played a few games and had a scavenger hunt. After that, I let them just "play." We have a tree house in the woods, and they set that up as their headquarters. All was going fine until 2 of them decided that they couldn't open my gate, and kicked it down. I must add that this is the same gate that my husband just put back up after it fell off the hinges. Needless to say, I wasn't really happy with this group of boys at this point. By 6:30, they were "starving," so we started the fire.
Now, we DO have one of those outside fireplace things, so we set the fire in that (I didn't just set a fire in my backyard - give me some credit). I got the hot dogs and skewers and let them roast their dinner. Jack, a vegetarian, had to roast his "mushroom burger" by cutting it in half and putting each half on the skewer. The rest of them roasted their hotdogs. Dinner went off without a hitch.
We had cake, and did s'mores, which also went fine.
At 9:30 pm, my husband sent them to the tent with their sleeping bags and told them that it was time for some "shut-eye." He was planning to leave me with this bunch and go fishing with his buddy all night. Nice, huh? But I guess the sleep over WAS my idea.
By 10:30, they were all inside asking me to restart the fire because they were cold. Now, me being the mom that I am, really didn't want them to sleep outside. We have a pool in the back yard, and I was a nervous wreck (especially after spending a few hours with this crew) that one of them would get out of the tent in the middle of the night and fall in the pool. So, when they came in, I asked them to get their sleeping bags, come in, and we would watch a movie.
I had prepared myself beforehand that I would probably be up to at least 12:30 or 1:00. Maybe even 1:30.
During the first movie, Hudson, who had been chewing on his glow stick, managed to bust it wide open and spill glow shit all over my carpet. That stuff does not wipe up... it simply disappears after a while. I told him he was done with glow sticks and that I didn't want to see him with another one - something that apparently went unheard by his 9 year old ears.
After the first movie, I had lost Jake and Harrison... they had dozed off, so we started a second movie (thank goodness for charter on demand!) After that movie, Mark had dozed off, which left me with Cameron, Hudson & Jack still awake. It was 1:30 in the morning, and I was exhausted, so I flipped over to cartoons, and told them to please watch tv quietly, that I was going to bed.
At 2:00, I could hear Jacob yelling, "Stop it! Leave me alone!" So, I hauled my exhausted butt out of bed and came out to the living room and told the awake boys to leave the asleep boys alone. Back to bed.
At 2:45, more commotion. I get up for a second time. I tell the boys to please be quiet... that Jake's older sister was upstairs trying to sleep, and his baby sister was downstairs trying to sleep. They laid back down and settled back in. Back to bed.
At 3:15, more commotion. Again, out of bed. I explain that I am really getting tired of getting up, and that I "WILL NOT" get up again....
At 4:30, a lot of commotion. I get up again, this time furious... my furiousness increases ten-fold when I get to the living room and see that Hudson has busted 2 more glow sticks and my carpet looks like an alien was murdered in my living room and it's glowing blood is splattered everywhere!!!! I flip on the light and lose it! Normally I would not yell at children who do not live in my house, but at 4:30 in the morning with my living room glowing, I lost all reason... I yelled at them that this was it! I turned off the tv and dared them to get up again! I told them that if I had to get up again, I was calling their parents to come pick them up. Hudson (the little darling) then pointed out that it was 4:30 in the morning and his mom wouldn't appreciate me waking her up in the middle of the night. I bit my tongue (almost in half) glared at him and said (through clenched teeth), "go. to. sleep." Again, back to bed.
At 5:00, I heard a noise, but was just way too exhausted to get up and check it out.
At 7:00, the boys who had actually gone to sleep (and Jack, who I think did not sleep at all), were up. I got up and found a mess on my kitchen table. I asked Jake who had gotten into the graham crackers that morning. He had no idea. Jack says, "oh, Hudson got hungry, so he got something to eat." I then realized that the noise that I heard was Hudson getting into my pantry and the 'click' was him pulling on the baby lock. I start breakfast.
At 7:15, the masochist came out in me. I got everyone to gather up their things and woke Cameron and Hudson up. Not very nicely I might add. The little shits. If I didn't get to sleep, neither were they.
By 9:30 Hudson's mom was there - to take him to church! I wanted to ask her why? Were they going to perform and exorcism? But, I refrained. By 10:00, they were all gone (I had sent the neighbors home), and Jake & I sat down to have a very long talk about how he needed to be a little more careful when choosing his friends. I also let him know that Hudson would not, under any circumstances, be welcome back at our house.
Anyone who tells you that boys are easier than girls is crazy. Morgan had a sleepover in April with 15 girls... they weren't half the trouble these 6 boys were.
